Is there anything else I can eat?

Since the break-in on Monday I’ve been eating everything is sight, seriously,  non-stop.  I haven’t left the house either, well except to run this morning and that was nerve racking in itself.  Back to the eating everything, I’m a pig, open mouth and stuff it in, that’s all I did all day yesterday, my stomach was pooching out like I had swallowed a small watermelon. Pig.  I talked to Annette yesterday morning and told her about my snacking, she’s a great friend, she brought me some healthy snacks, I ate those too.  It has to stop, today, I about blew on my run this morning.

First I got about 1/4 mile into my run and had to come back home, bathroom, run again, stop at the lake bathroom, finally able to finish my sloggish run of 5.39 miles with an average pace of 10:26.  Bland, we are back to bland eating, Turkey sandwich for lunch, pretzels for snacks, maybe some mini carrots if I’m a good girl.  Fish for dinner and some nice plain frozen veggies, steamed, no seasoning.  Bland, no pigging out, no self pity for being violated by some hoodlum in my new safe neighborhood.

I slept a little better last night, it took a long time for me to fall asleep, probably because I left my lamp on, I was afraid to turn it off, big baby.  I did turn it off about 12:30 am and was able to go to sleep, but I wake myself up a lot, I’ll start dreaming and wake myself up to make sure I don’t hear someone in the house.  I’m afraid to work in my super duper office I fixed up with my new desk, I don’t want someone to see me in there, I just don’t know what to do, I can’t be afraid to live in my own house….I’m probably just be a little paranoid or silly.  I may call some alarm companies and see how much it cost, I really cannot afford another monthly payment, but maybe I can cut back somewhere else, but where?

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4 Responses

  1. I’m glad you got out and ran this morning… it doesn’t matter the pace I think this run was important more for your mental health than physical!!
    It is going to take time to start feeling safe again, you were violated and that doesn’t just go away overnight!
    Love you!!

  2. Good for you for running anyway. It’s a mental head trip.

    Get the alarm system. Purchase some blinds/curtains.

    It will take time.

    My friend did a *cleansing* ceremony in my classroom…and she bought live lavendar…Dragonfly lights signal change, and lavendar is for getting bad energy out. Put lemons (pierced) in 4 corners of your house to soak up bad energy. (throw away after 2 days)

    It sounds like California hokey-pokey, but it worked for me. 🙂

    Hang in there.

  3. It’ll take time to get over this so be good to yourself. (Very odd about the t-shirts.) I’m glad you went for a run it’ll help with the stress.

  4. ALARM ALARM ALARM. It is the only way to go.

    It’s funny. I lived in “the hood” in Little Rock for YEARS unscathed. After 2 years in the safest, oldest neighborhood in Benton I was robbed. So I certainly understand where you’re coming from.

    ALARM! Make it happen. You’ll have more peace of mind that ever. People who have never been robbed just don’t understand!

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