Willpower and the lack of

Eating willpower     (2-20-12)         

I remember my mother telling me one time “I wish I had your willpower, you can eat just a few cookies, I eat the whole bag”.  Well now I’m my mother, geez, it’s depressing, eat, eat and eat again.  I’m eating right now!!  Mind you I don’t eat a LOT of bad stuff, but still it’s all calories regardless of what you are eating.

About 10 years ago, when I still had willpower I went almost a whole year without eating any chocolate or fried food, could I do that now?  Probably not, fried food I could go without, hardly ever touch it, but chocolate, nope, love it, I Love you Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, I WOULD eat it every day if I could.  No lie.  Chocolate anything, cake, ice cream, cookies, plain, in candy, doesn’t matter, just tell me it’s chocolate and I’m weakened.  I think I may need an intervention.

At lunch today I made my weekly trip to Wal-Mart, yes there are a couple of things I buy there, PowerBar Gels in Strawberry Banana 4-pak for 3.88, Great Value cereal bars in Mixed Berry $2.00, Great Value sliced Mozzarella cheese can’t remember price, but it’s irrelevant because I love it, same for the cereal bars.  Where was I going with this….oh I remember.  My sister loaned me a swimsuit last year and she said she got it at Wal-mart, well I took a gander at the suits, EEK, nothing I would dare wear!  But there was a pair of bottoms (boy shorts) cause I ain’t showing my fat ass!  Pick up a medium go to the dressing room and on the way I’m thinking “this won’t be bad” you’ve been working out, running, they’ll look ‘OK’”  WHAT a freaking nightmare, I was just appalled at my thighs!  They are so flabby and not shapely at all, I leave for vacation in 3 weeks, and I’m sick, literally sick.  Wondering what extreme measures I can take before we leave to slim these babies down!  So embarrassing. 

So back to the willpower, I need it NOW, I need to not eat anything extra, including chocolate for the next 2 ½ weeks.  If I could just lose 2-3 pounds I think I might be able to go on the beach.  And it all boils down to willpower; I eat just to eat, not because I’m hungry.  I know what to do; just don’t have the gumption to do it.  Help, I need help!!  Can you hear me peeps?  Can you help a girl out??  Hide the cookies, hide the cupcakes, this girl needs to look good in those boy shorts!

Countdown to the Marathon, 13 11 days!  Got my bib number this weekend, #593, not excited, but it is what it is.  I will run it and Kim will be running with me.  I just know how much pain I have been in on the last few runs and dread that part of it more than anything!  Already looking forward to the finish line, HA!!!  We ran 12 miles on Saturday and for some reason my shins were killing me, no idea why, maybe I need new insoles, but hate to get them this close to marathon, or maybe I should!

The 12 miles was not that bad, Tammy ran the first 4 with me, always nice to have her company, we ran on the River Trail, over Big Dam Bridge over to Two Rivers and back, very boring to say the least.  I have been carrying my iphone, no headphones, just listening to Pandora Disco, it’s a hoot!  And people commented the whole route back on Saturday, especially on Disco Inferno!  Saw some people doing a couple of John Travolta moves, keeps it interesting.

This week could be a bust for me.  Stephanie wants me to keep the baby Friday night, one of her  girlfriend’s will be in town, so I can either take the BOB and take BOJ with us or go on Sunday, not sure yet.  Weather will play a huge factor.  Can’t take her if it’s too cold.

Well that’s it, except some exciting news coming soon, it’s a new adventure for me and my friend Sheryl, we are ironing our a few things before I make any huge announcements.





Marathon Countdown

 As the day’s countdown, 19 to be exact, the more anxious I am becoming, especially after the miserable 20 mile run on Saturday.  Thank goodness Kim came for the weekend and ran with me, not sure if I would have stuck it out for the whole thing.  We knew it was going to be cold, but OMG, it was freaking TORTURE!  I wanted to quit so many times and when Tammy said so long and headed back I desperately wanted to go too.  When my stupid Garmin kept f’ing up, when I dropped my gloves trying to take a drink a gazillion times, when we would turn a corner and the wind would slap you in the face like a 2 x 4, I was pissed and done, wanted to quit, I really can’t believe we finished it.  If the weather is good on race day we should be okay, if it’s like Saturday, they can keep the medal and my money!  HA HA!!  That’s how bad it was. 

I saw a girl running with no head band, no hat and this was in the beginning of the run, before the sun came up, she had her ipod plugged in, had a hood, but not on her head, I have no idea how her ears were stilled attached to her head, mine would have fallen off, it was that stinking cold!  She was nuts!  Sorry girl….put that hoodie on! 

We were almost run over on Chester Street in Little Rock, someone getting off the interstate with their heads turned to the left looking for traffic, they were not expecting us freaks out running!  We were aware though and avoided being run over, even though the thought of being finished….. just kidding! 

Part of the Little Rock Marathon Team, not sure who they were other than Hobbit, had an impromptu aid station around the Fire Station on Chester, it was super nice, snacks, water, etc.  A nice break too.


We finished about 10:30, yeah it took us forever, but we did make 3 stops and took our time, we regrouped at the Holiday Inn, got warm, got some needed nourishment and readjusted all of our clothing.  We also stopped at our favorite stop of all, the State Capitol, they have the best bathroom, well, it’s only the best bathroom when you are freezing cold, you need to go and need a place to lay down, cause they have all of that and more.  I could have spent the rest of my day on that bench. 

We were running up Markham by the Deaf School and we heard honking, it was Tammy who had left from the run earlier, she pulled over at the school and when we got up to her we stopped and chatted, ate some apple slices she offered, bitched about how miserable we were and then headed for our last 6 miles.  Another hour, at least the sun was out and it felt wonderful! 

I tried to think about Sherry Arnold, whose bib was attached to my back, who was murdered on a Saturday run back in January, I tried to think of her and hope that she did not suffer, that she wasn’t scared, that she fought those bastards with every ounce of her being, because that’s what I would do, or at least it’s what I hope I would do, fight.  I saw on SUAR’s blog that over 20,000 bibs were printed for the virtual run, that’s amazing, 20,000 were thinking about Sherry on their runs this weekend.  Hope this makes everyone a little more aware of their surroundings when they go out and run alone, I know it makes me very watchful everyday.

 Until later. Maybe. 

 Oh and Happy Valentine’s Day