Willpower and the lack of

Eating willpower     (2-20-12)         

I remember my mother telling me one time “I wish I had your willpower, you can eat just a few cookies, I eat the whole bag”.  Well now I’m my mother, geez, it’s depressing, eat, eat and eat again.  I’m eating right now!!  Mind you I don’t eat a LOT of bad stuff, but still it’s all calories regardless of what you are eating.

About 10 years ago, when I still had willpower I went almost a whole year without eating any chocolate or fried food, could I do that now?  Probably not, fried food I could go without, hardly ever touch it, but chocolate, nope, love it, I Love you Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, I WOULD eat it every day if I could.  No lie.  Chocolate anything, cake, ice cream, cookies, plain, in candy, doesn’t matter, just tell me it’s chocolate and I’m weakened.  I think I may need an intervention.

At lunch today I made my weekly trip to Wal-Mart, yes there are a couple of things I buy there, PowerBar Gels in Strawberry Banana 4-pak for 3.88, Great Value cereal bars in Mixed Berry $2.00, Great Value sliced Mozzarella cheese can’t remember price, but it’s irrelevant because I love it, same for the cereal bars.  Where was I going with this….oh I remember.  My sister loaned me a swimsuit last year and she said she got it at Wal-mart, well I took a gander at the suits, EEK, nothing I would dare wear!  But there was a pair of bottoms (boy shorts) cause I ain’t showing my fat ass!  Pick up a medium go to the dressing room and on the way I’m thinking “this won’t be bad” you’ve been working out, running, they’ll look ‘OK’”  WHAT a freaking nightmare, I was just appalled at my thighs!  They are so flabby and not shapely at all, I leave for vacation in 3 weeks, and I’m sick, literally sick.  Wondering what extreme measures I can take before we leave to slim these babies down!  So embarrassing. 

So back to the willpower, I need it NOW, I need to not eat anything extra, including chocolate for the next 2 ½ weeks.  If I could just lose 2-3 pounds I think I might be able to go on the beach.  And it all boils down to willpower; I eat just to eat, not because I’m hungry.  I know what to do; just don’t have the gumption to do it.  Help, I need help!!  Can you hear me peeps?  Can you help a girl out??  Hide the cookies, hide the cupcakes, this girl needs to look good in those boy shorts!

Countdown to the Marathon, 13 11 days!  Got my bib number this weekend, #593, not excited, but it is what it is.  I will run it and Kim will be running with me.  I just know how much pain I have been in on the last few runs and dread that part of it more than anything!  Already looking forward to the finish line, HA!!!  We ran 12 miles on Saturday and for some reason my shins were killing me, no idea why, maybe I need new insoles, but hate to get them this close to marathon, or maybe I should!

The 12 miles was not that bad, Tammy ran the first 4 with me, always nice to have her company, we ran on the River Trail, over Big Dam Bridge over to Two Rivers and back, very boring to say the least.  I have been carrying my iphone, no headphones, just listening to Pandora Disco, it’s a hoot!  And people commented the whole route back on Saturday, especially on Disco Inferno!  Saw some people doing a couple of John Travolta moves, keeps it interesting.

This week could be a bust for me.  Stephanie wants me to keep the baby Friday night, one of her  girlfriend’s will be in town, so I can either take the BOB and take BOJ with us or go on Sunday, not sure yet.  Weather will play a huge factor.  Can’t take her if it’s too cold.

Well that’s it, except some exciting news coming soon, it’s a new adventure for me and my friend Sheryl, we are ironing our a few things before I make any huge announcements.

 

 

 

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Marathon Countdown

 As the day’s countdown, 19 to be exact, the more anxious I am becoming, especially after the miserable 20 mile run on Saturday.  Thank goodness Kim came for the weekend and ran with me, not sure if I would have stuck it out for the whole thing.  We knew it was going to be cold, but OMG, it was freaking TORTURE!  I wanted to quit so many times and when Tammy said so long and headed back I desperately wanted to go too.  When my stupid Garmin kept f’ing up, when I dropped my gloves trying to take a drink a gazillion times, when we would turn a corner and the wind would slap you in the face like a 2 x 4, I was pissed and done, wanted to quit, I really can’t believe we finished it.  If the weather is good on race day we should be okay, if it’s like Saturday, they can keep the medal and my money!  HA HA!!  That’s how bad it was. 

I saw a girl running with no head band, no hat and this was in the beginning of the run, before the sun came up, she had her ipod plugged in, had a hood, but not on her head, I have no idea how her ears were stilled attached to her head, mine would have fallen off, it was that stinking cold!  She was nuts!  Sorry girl….put that hoodie on! 

We were almost run over on Chester Street in Little Rock, someone getting off the interstate with their heads turned to the left looking for traffic, they were not expecting us freaks out running!  We were aware though and avoided being run over, even though the thought of being finished….. just kidding! 

Part of the Little Rock Marathon Team, not sure who they were other than Hobbit, had an impromptu aid station around the Fire Station on Chester, it was super nice, snacks, water, etc.  A nice break too.

 

We finished about 10:30, yeah it took us forever, but we did make 3 stops and took our time, we regrouped at the Holiday Inn, got warm, got some needed nourishment and readjusted all of our clothing.  We also stopped at our favorite stop of all, the State Capitol, they have the best bathroom, well, it’s only the best bathroom when you are freezing cold, you need to go and need a place to lay down, cause they have all of that and more.  I could have spent the rest of my day on that bench. 

We were running up Markham by the Deaf School and we heard honking, it was Tammy who had left from the run earlier, she pulled over at the school and when we got up to her we stopped and chatted, ate some apple slices she offered, bitched about how miserable we were and then headed for our last 6 miles.  Another hour, at least the sun was out and it felt wonderful! 

I tried to think about Sherry Arnold, whose bib was attached to my back, who was murdered on a Saturday run back in January, I tried to think of her and hope that she did not suffer, that she wasn’t scared, that she fought those bastards with every ounce of her being, because that’s what I would do, or at least it’s what I hope I would do, fight.  I saw on SUAR’s blog that over 20,000 bibs were printed for the virtual run, that’s amazing, 20,000 were thinking about Sherry on their runs this weekend.  Hope this makes everyone a little more aware of their surroundings when they go out and run alone, I know it makes me very watchful everyday.

 Until later. Maybe. 

 Oh and Happy Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

September came and went

Wow, where did it go?  Seems like that is a common phrase for me lately, where does the time go? where do my keys go? where does everything go?  September was super busy for me, lots of preparations for Kim’s Wedding Shower, lots of work to do, just in general busy.  I typed out a post on September 21st, but got busy and forgot to post it, may post it still.

Let me start with today and work backwards since today is the most fresh in my old head.  It was freaking chilly outside this morning and I do not like putting on long sleeves, or hunting down my headband or wondering “should I wear my gloves?” Ugh…here we go again.  Anyway, no gloves for today’s run, but long sleeves and headband, both of which I was glad I wore.

Our run today with the Little Rock Marathon Training group started at the ADEQ in NLR.  Tammy had already sent a text she wasn’t coming, so I was really not feeling it and didn’t know how far I wanted to run, 6 miles, 8 miles, whatever, doesn’t really matter at this point, just so I’m out there doing something.  I’m standing close to the sign in area talking with a new girl, Wendy, she is asking me about my Nathan water bottle thing I’ve had since my first half marathon a million moons ago, we are just chatting it up and this girl walks up and says “Are you Cheryl?” uh…yeah.  She says “I read your blog, I know everything about you, Tammy, Kim and BOJ!  You have inspired me?”  Me? Inspire someone?  Me?  Uh, okay.  I was shocked.  She was so nice, said she has read every post, I felt bad that I hadn’t been posting anything because it’s so stinking boring!

We continued to talk, she (“Heloisa” I hope I remembered and spelled her name correctly) was running 3 miles, so we took off together and continued to chat it up until she turned around a little past the 2 mile mark.  It was remarkable that she knew so much about me and my running, she asked about Lakewood and my early morning runs, mentioned 10-10-10 when I was in Boston last year, just all sorts of things.

I know people read blogs, I read blogs, but when someone you don’t know actually reads what you have written and looks you up, WOW!  I was floored!  Thanks Heloisa for making my week!  Sometimes I don’t post on my blog because the things I want to say seem so trivial I just don’t bother, those thoughts just stay in my head in that dark little spot that I use to scream at people when I drive home from work, frustration, depression, etc, it all comes out about 5pm, so watch out!

I have been doing a little better on my morning runs, got my new Mizuno’s last week and they made a huge difference.  I picked up some new runner peeps around the lake, Sheila and Cliff occasionally.  Sheila for sure, she seems to be at the lake every day!  My runs are averaging around 4 miles a day 3 days a week, still not nearly what they were last year, but the mojo is still MIA.

Last weekend was the WEDDING SHOWER for Kim, it turned out great, but I am about partied out, all these surprise parties, showers, etc. ENOUGH!  The only thing about the shower that was a bummer was the turn out, we invited about 30 people, I made 13 caramel apples for people to take home as favors, I sent 5 home with guests.  The rest went to the to-be Mother-in-Law, the host house and I took 3 to work.  Sheryl helped with the shower and brought the cake, we didn’t even make a dent in the cake.  Sad.

Finished Insanity, thank goodness!  Don’t miss it a bit!  Thought about starting boot camp again, but just can’t afford it, this past month has about run my savings dry!  Why is it everything is either due all at the same time or everything happens at the same time?  Anyway I just started going back to the NLR Community Center, they have a couple of great classes, it’s just hard to get there on time with the STUPID traffic in LR and trying to go North on I-430 at 5pm.

Signed up for the 2012 Little Rock Marathon, it’s the 10th anniversary and very likely my last Marathon, my feet just can not take it!  I will not say for sure until after it is over though!  I think Kim and I are doing the Batesville half in December, it is super hilly, guess that mojo needs to hurry up and find its way back to me!

The BOJ is getting so big, she will be 16 months old tomorrow!  Cutting lots of teeth, throwing temper tantrums, walking fast (not running), just so much fun I can hardly stand it!  She is coming over this afternoon, hope we can get down to the park or Fun Fest.

Here are some pictures from the shower and of course the baby!

Kim, Abbi and Sydney

BOJ - Labor day weekend

Bride to Be – Kim

Expectations

In my mind I always have this idea about my run, how great it’s going to be.  I can see it, starting out slow, birds are singing,  picking up the pace around the lake, saying good morning to all the ducks and geese, taking a quick water break by the stone gate, making my last hill,  finishing my morning run with a smile on my face and not a care in the world.  BS!  That never ever happens, EVER!

My expectations are so high for myself and I get so disappointed after about half a mile as was the case yesterday.  I had planned on 3 miles, pitiful I know, but I have to start back somewhere, right?  To start out it was warm, a nice 76 degrees with 90% humidity.  I knew as soon as I started running it was not going to be a great run, my back was hurting already.  Whatever I did to it over the weekend is still there.  But I trudge on at a terribly slow pace.  Make it down to the lake, I had to walk a couple of times already because this pain is shooting down my leg!  DAMN IT!  But I keep thinking oh, it will get better in a bit and it sort of did, but it never was not there.  Then the stomach starts talking, geez, cannot I not get one decent run in?  It’s very disheartening when every run SUCKS!!  Makes me not want to run at all.  It all started with my stupid foot in December and I’m still paying for it.

So, I knew I better head home since the bathroom was not open at the lake.  I only got in 2.5 miles, what a waste of a morning.  Oh well, I will try again on Wednesday and I will have an expectation of hearing the birds sing and my feet will be light as air, blah, blah, blah.

My only saving grace for the day was Insanity last night with Tammy, we did Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs.  We almost made it through the entire Pure Cardio without stopping, but I’m not sure we ever will, it is INTENSE!  I can tell we are getting better just by how many breaks we have to take or not take!  Not sure what she told me we were doing tonight, but whatever it is you can bet we will be drenched with sweat and ready for our rest day tomorrow!

Okay, I gotta go to work.

 

It’s been 6 months since my last post

Okay, let’s get this party started again!  I think I’m ready to blog about my running again and maybe my Insanity workouts and of course the grandbaby who just turned a year old!  Geez, time flies.  I can’t believe I haven’t posted in 6 months, pathetic….

Well, let’s see, I have a new job, my foot is better but somewhere along the way I lost a ton of running mojo and a ton of cardio/endurance.  I was doing a local Boot Camp class which I thought would keep my cardio up and it did to an extent, but as I learned, you can’t replace running 30-40 miles a week with 3 or 4 days of cardio, especially at my age.

Still trying to get back to where I was in December and it’s a struggle, every run sucks, I’m winded, my heart rate is in the 160s, ugh.  I keep thinking it should be better by now, but I’m just not putting in the mileage.  My daily running buddy Kim moved so I have a million excuses not to get up and run or cut my run short.  Tammy and I started Insanity 3 weeks ago and it is definitely an intense cardio workout.  She has noticed some improvement in her running, but I really haven’t yet, not sure why, but I’m hopeful.

Today I took an unexpected rest day, I strained my back doing something on Friday, so after yesterday’s 4 mile run and then Insanity, oh not to mention I had the baby and we went out to my Sister’s to swim for the day, I was beat!  My back was telling me to take it easy, so that’s what I did.

I hope to get in a 3 mile run tomorrow or Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, Saturday will be 6 miles, keeping my fingers crossed.

Well this is a start, hopefully I will keep it up! 

Here is a new picture of the baby, she is walking and getting into everything!

Sweet girl!

Stupid Foot

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year.  I had a great Christmas with the BOJ, so much more fun with a baby around.  They came over early opened gifts and then left for Aaron’s side of the Family.  On Sunday we all headed to my Mom’s house in Carlisle, we really had a great time.  Mom cooked a big pot of Chili and cornbread, I  made a, from scratch, German Chocolate Cheesecake, perfect for a cold Christmas Day!  We did a dirty Santa gift exchange, this was the first time we had ever done such a thing, it was weird to say the least, but nice to spend a fortune on gifts no one wants or likes.  The baby was perfect and everyone had a big time with her.

Okay enough of the sugar and spice, my stupid foot hurts!!  It’s been hurting for a month or two, I think it’s plantar faciitis, but who knows, it started around the edge of my heel, so I treated it by stretching it every morning and doing calf raises, it just kept getting worse.

The week before Christmas Kim and I ran a 16-miler with our buddy Patrick up in the Heights and by the time we were finished I thought my foot was going to fall off, it was freaking miserable.  I was limping up to Starbucks after we finished.  Tried stretching and icing all that good crap and it still hurt.  Took off on Sunday and Monday, short runs the rest of the week, all with pain.  We ran on Christmas morning, at about mile 5 it was killing me, I said some choice cuss words I was just over it, the pain was putting me in a pissy mood.  Thank goodness we were not running more than 6.

Day after Christmas we were meeting the Little Rock Marathon training group for a 10 miler, I got up as normal and tried to run up and down my street for my warm-up, I couldn’t even run, I limp/ran, what the hell?  It really was bad.  I didn’t know if it would warm up, my foot that is, or not, so I decided to go ahead and meet Kim and see what would happen.  After Kim got their, I explained that I may not be able to run the whole route and if she wanted to run ahead she was more than welcome to, it would not hurt my feelings one bit!  She didn’t want to run the route by herself so she stuck with me, such a great running buddy!

We made it about 3 miles before I couldn’t stand it a much longer, we cut it short, made it  a total of about 4 miles, holy hell, this is not going well for my marathon training!!  The whole week after Christmas was a bust!  I tried to run again on Tuesday, down to the end of my street and right back home, same on Wednesday.  I finally called Dr. Nix’s office and made an appointment, not sure what they can do other than stick a big fat needle in my foot, yikes!!  At this point I might just let them.    So I really haven’t run since last Sunday, I haven’t gone this long without running since I sprained my ankle a couple of years ago!  Good thing it’s cold out!  HA!

Anyway, my foot was feeling a little better today so I thought I would try it out, not bad for the first mile, painful, but not near as bad as earlier in the week.  I can take pain, hell I’m old, there is always some sort of pain!  I told myself, make another loop around the lake, I was making my second loop when BAM!!  These shooting/stabbing pains started in my heel and arch, holy cow!  Stopped me in my Mizunos!  I had to turn around and head home once again.  This sucks, stupid foot, stupid old age!  Stupid fat ass!

So, I guess we will see what the Doc says on Wednesday, I’m sure I will be back on track soon since I have signed up for both the Little Rock Marathon AND the Hobbitom Challenge the day before! 

What are Heel Spurs?  Could it be heel spurs?

Do I continue? do you care?

No I haven’t been blogging much at all, like once a month.  Way too much going on and I tend to overwrite, too much info I’m sure.  So, do I continue this blog?  Do you even care?  Does anyone read this thing anymore?  These are the questions that pop in my mind when I think about updating blog world on my oh so exciting happenings.

Running –  Still running.  Stomach issues that I had in the past are somewhat better, seems to go in cycles.  Lots of good runs with limited bathroom stops and then lots of bad runs with extra stops.  Lucky for me I have good running partners and bathrooms to stop at!

The big problem lately with running is my feet, oh do they hurt.  I know I have a touch of PF and I really just push it out of my mind, but every morning, oh holy hell!!  And then to top that off I have that stupid bursitis in my right foot and a touch of it in my left too.  I take my anti-inflammatory and glucosamine which helps, but geez, pain, ugh.  Oh, while I’m complaining, my heart rate has been awfully high lately, resting rate used to be in the low 50’s, haven’t seen that for a couple of months, should I be worried?  Maybe I should ditch some caffeine to see if that helps, but I’m not drinking more than I used to, who knows.

BOJ –  Bundle of Joy, my grand baby, oh my goodness, I never knew what I was missing, love that baby to pieces!  I usually get to keep her on Wednesday night and then again on Sundays.  This weekend maybe an overnighter!  It will be her second.  She has gained so much weight, she is just a little chunk!  Love that baby fat, the only time it’s cute to be fat.

Sleepy Baby

Had a nice run on Saturday morning with the Little Rock Marathon Group, we (Kim and I), got to see Tammy and Patrick, Tammy we don’t get to see much of, she must hate running with us, she thinks we run too fast, BAHH!!  not us, we are very pokey.  Patrick, who we haven’t seen since Lake Sylvia has been training for his first 100-miler!!  OMG, no way I could ever, my feet would fall off.  We were happy to see Patrick, we miss seeing and talking to him on our Saturday runs.  Tammy met us at Starbucks afterward and we had a little shopping excursion, not much, but it was nice to catch up.  Hopefully she will run with us again 🙂 

I’ve been sitting here since 8am waiting on Directv, why is it when they tell you they will be at your house between 8-Noon it’s always Noon?  I just got a call at 11:20, the technician will be here in 15 minutes.  I could have gone to work for 3 hours and then home, really grates on me that their logistics are not better.

My new boot camp class is awesome, I love it!!!  I wish it was more nights, but sadly only two nights a week at the NLR Community Center, I just hope it makes me stronger, fast!

Boston half marathon is coming up!!  YIPPEE!  10-10-10 and its the 10th anniversary, should be a blast, report to follow!